An Omen

I just took this picture and feel compelled to share it with all of you. Rainbows occur fairly frequently out here, and never fail to take my breath away. I am choosing to view this one as a metaphysical high-five. We saw it while eating wild salmon, broccoli from our garden and fresh local strawberries. Life is good.

A Celebratory Day!

Toot the horns, wave the flags, and throw the confetti - it's celebration time! Both of Joanne's blood counts are way up - her bone marrow has rebounded with gusto! So, for the time being, we have staved off the nasty drugs that kick start the bone marrow. Her next chemo will now be on schedule - next Friday. Today is the last day of the antibiotic for the infection. Her appetite is great. Only irritating symptom is the weakness and fatigue, a natural result of major surgery, cancer and an infection. Her hair is starting to come out, so the ritual shaving will be very soon.

We had a very good appointment with the naturopath this morning. She validated all the natural supports we are using to decrease the side effects of the chemo. We like her.

The next big milestone will be the appointment on Monday with Dr. Rubin when we find out the results of the cancer marker and know if the tumors are responding to the chemo. Stay tuned and make it a wonderful weekend.

Tribute to Bennie

Another one-way journey to the vet's - another tearful, painful good-bye. After so many good-byes to pets, it doesn't get any easier, even when it is the right decision. Such is the price for loving.

Ben was special - he was the first kitten Joanne and I adopted together when she moved in 14 years ago. He was a battle-scarred protector, lover, mother/father to many siblings, and master cuddler.

Right now, it feels like my heart cannot hold any more sorrow. So, it's time for some dancing, laughing and bike riding. Joanne and I continue to live one day at a time.

Beautiful, but rough day

Today Joanne went in for blood work and got the bad news that her white and red blood cell counts are way down. We didn't expect this to happen until she had been through several rounds of chemo. The M.D. wanted to start some strong drugs that have unpleasant side effects. We have decided to wait until Friday. We have a naturopath appointment that day and will then have another blood draw and make a decision.

We are both discouraged. The context of our day didn't help. Bennie, our 14 year old cat is dying from end-stage kidney disease and we will probably be euthanizing him on Wednesday. It's so painful to see him suffer. We euthanized another cat just a few months ago who had cancer. Looks like it's time to adopt some kittens. Also, today I opened the cabinet below the sink and discovered pools of water and coffee grounds - major plumbing problem to be fixed tomorrow!

So, I am requesting that all of you powerful visualizers see Joanne's bone marrow as a bustling factory working overtime to produce lots of cells. Our vision is that cell counts are on the rise.

Turning Point

Joanne has finally turned the corner in terms of her healing. We discovered on Friday that she had become very dehydrated from the GI infection, so she received IV fluids on Friday, Saturday and today. She now feels so much stronger and finally has an appetite! This has been a very sucky weight loss program.

I finished leading Reset for Excellence tonight, and Joanne requested that I bring home a Papa Murphy's veggie pizza. I have never been so excited about bringing home a take and bake pizza - you'd think I was transporting the Hope diamond.

Many thanks to Jerry Horner, Cindy Brooks and Rev. Jenn for driving Joanne to the hospital on Friday and Saturday while I was in Reset. Today she actually drove herself - a big milestone! So, we're looking forward to two weeks of increasing strength before her next chemo treatment.

Many Trucks and Naturopaths

Wow, I didn't realize we knew so many people with trucks. I promise I will never even consider renting in the future. We're surrounded by friends who truck! I put the debris - a mountain of it - in the front yard. Our neighbor came by in his truck and whisked it away. Actually, if we put ANYTHING in the front yard out here, it will ultimately be whisked away. . .

Thanks for all the input about naturopaths - it appears we also have an abundance of those in this community. We have an appointment next week with a Dr. James in Ferndale who specializes in oncology.

Joanne is going through a particularly rough period. We found out today that she has an infection in her GI tract, and that is probably contributing to her severe fatigue and lack of appetite. She starts on antibiotics tomorrow and is really looking forward to having more energy in the near future. Fortunately, the bone pain is gone.

I, on the other hand, got in a 50 mile bike ride today. That's a huge stress reducer for me and I feel quite energized. It's a good thing, because Reset for Excellence starts on Thursday.

Gardening angels

Joanne is now dealing with some of the yucky fall-out of chemo (no, she still has her hair - for one more month). It's been nausea and fatigue and today is deep bone pain, due to steroid withdrawal. My challenge is the fine dance between knowing how important nutrition is (some of you know I'm a nutrition nazi at times!) and her lack of appetite. The only thing that really appeals to her right now is ice cream - I surrender!

Yesterday, under cloudy skies, seven gardening angels came out to do a blitz cleaning up of the back border of our property. As someone who traditionally would rather pull her fingernails out than ask for help, I must say that yesterday's experience was delightful! We accomplished so much in a short time and had fun doing it - I could get hooked on this. Many, many thanks to Rev. Jenn, Ellen, Marie and Mary Ellen, Kristen, Sharon and Bruce. Next step is to rent a truck and take all the debris to it's final resting ground.

Anyone know a good naturopath in town who works with cancer patients???

Smooth Sailing

Joanne's first chemo session went super smoothly. We were in the infusion room at Madrona for 5 hours. The only casualty was when the IVAC machine and IV pole fell on my face (I was sitting in a chair). First aid was immediately rendered, and the bruising should fade in a few days!

The nurses were great, they have snacks in the kitchen, the recliner was super comfy, and they have internet hookups - what more could any couple want. I blessed both bags of chemo before they were infused - we visualized the liquid as the holy spirit cursing through her veins, cleansing her body of any ill cells.

Thank you, Etta, for the treatment buddy. He/she is yet to be christened - we'll let you know.
Thank you, everyone, for your supporting vibes. While I was praying at the beginning of chemo I saw an image of angels surrounding and supporting Joanne's body. Cool.

Chemo Orientation

I just want to reassure everyone who visits the blog daily - no news means I was just taking a break from posting this blog - nothing else!

Today we had a 2 hour appointment at Madrona with Dr. Rubin and the chemo nurses. They were able to squeeze us in for the first chemo treatment this Friday. It will be a five hour session, receiving two drugs.

We are both quite sobered, and sad, about the journey ahead. Joanne has been through chemo before and is accessing memories of that experience. I was an oncology nurse for years so I know what we're facing. We both feel better emotionally when we focus on the present and what is right in front of us. When our thoughts wander to the road ahead - the rest of this year with another major surgery and then more chemo, it feels overwhelming and scary. I know the physician has to tell us all the worse case scenarios, but in many ways, it is not helpful. So, it's one day at a time and the kite strings we are holding onto are Joanne's amazing ability to heal and the belief that she will sail through the chemo process. We are pointing our boat downstream and going with the flow. . .

Narcotics Be Gone

Joanne had a great day. A whole day with only Ibuprofen. We realized it was the narcotic pain med that was causing the nausea and other discomfort. Today she ate food, went for several walks in the garden and generally felt much better. In the picture she is wearing the prayer shawl that Sharon Allen gave her today. Sharon, as part of the Prayer Shawl Ministry group at our church, choreographed this project. Many of us knit one or more prayerful rows in the shawl that will give her protection and comfort in the months to come. Thank you to all who participated. There is a little angel sewn into the shawl and the following is the note attached:

"This shawl was created for you with love and prayers,
May God who formed your being,
Who knit you together in your mothers womb,
Who gave you the breath of life,
Renew you this day and give you hope to sustain you.

May this prayer shawl be a sign of Christ's healing presence.
May it warm you when you are weary;
May it surround you with comfort to ease your suffering;
May it encircle you with caring when you are in pain.

Wrap yourself in this shawl of comfort and pray. . .
Amen

Home Sweet Home

We had an uneventful journey home with Joanne stretched out in the front passenger seat asleep most of the trip. I set up her office downstairs as the "Recovery room" where she has a reclining chair and a bed so she can see out the door to the courtyard garden. Mostly, it has a door that will keep the cats from coming in and jumping on her painful lap! Her biggest challenge today is nausea and lack of appetite. We're hoping it's from the strong pain meds, and we're working to transition to milder drugs. I've heard all the horror stories about loved ones over-encouraging patients to eat, and I'm afraid I've become one of them! I want her to get some nourishment before she starts chemo next week.

We really, really appreciate all the offers of support, like meals, gardening, etc. In terms of meals, both of us are living with nausea right now (empathy pains?), so very little cooking is required in this household, and I can easily handle it. We have a very challenging road ahead when she starts chemo and then goes back for major surgery again, and then real intensive chemo, so I suspect we will welcome gifts of meals later on. I haven't surveyed the property yet other than my vegetable garden (looks good!) but I understand that if you want to help me garden anytime in the next two months, you can contact me or Sue Hindman at sch@fidalgo.net.

Jerry Horner :) has graciously volunteered to bike my legs off. . Anyone else that wants to join in on that fun can email him at: jerryhorner@windermere.com.

Thank you Linda, Taylor and Shelly for your generous gifts of housesitting during our stay in Seattle.

We have our first appointment with the oncologist Dr. Reuben next Tuesday and will hopefully start chemo right after that. The healing continues with reiki, spiritual mind treatments, prayers, guided visualizations, laughter and music.

Free at Last!

Joanne is now free of her IV, foley catheter, and epidural catheter. It's great to move about the room without pushing all those machines. Her first "real food" was a USANA nutrimeal, of course! I don't consider beef broth and jello "real food". She now will hopefully slowly upgrade to Trader Joe's organic yogurt, bananas and soup (I went on a field trip). Bad news about losing the epidural - she now feels pain and was quite surprised to really see, and feel, the extent of her incision which is stem to stern. That is REALLY BIG on a little person. Our next challenge is to adjust and tolerate the oral pain meds.

Here's the best news of all: we go home tomorrow!

We Did Carpe the Dang Diem

Thanks, Sharon, for that expression - it really sums up today. Joanne took three (3) walks down the oncology corridor. Yes, the mighty wind did roar and she had some explosions of all those clear liquids! So, we're hoping tomorrow she can start on full liquids. Going home is not a possibility until at least Wed or Thurs. This is an exercise in patience. Joanne has much of this - me, not so much. So, many thanks for all that visualization and those wonderful farting comments. I think we all needed the comic relief. . . OK, you powerful visualizers: see Joanne with no more tubes or catheters, taking oral pain meds and us driving carefully North on I-5 to our home on the Bay. Home, ET, Home. ..

Speed Bump

We've hit a slight speed bump on the road to healing. Joanne's GI tract is not willing to "wake up". So, it looks like it will be Tuesday, at the earliest, that we get to leave here. So we need everyone to visualize Joanne "passing gas" in a big way - and often! I must admit that I am also visualizing a good rain dump so our gardens get a sufficient drink. It's hard to be away from our home this long.

This morning I went to church at the Plymouth UCC church which is only three blocks away in hope of some spiritual nourishment. I had lunch today with an RN on the floor who recognized me as one of her instructors at the UW back in 1980 - some people have amazing memories!

Tonight I am staying with a friend who lives close to here - I am in desperate need of some renewing sleep. I think this whole journey will look a bit brighter when I am not so fatigued.

Jello at Last!

Today we've seen real progress in Joanne's healing from surgery. She had that pesky nasogastric tube removed and is finally able to feast on broth, tea, and jello. Actually, jello never tasted this good to her! A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a few steps and three times today she stood and took about five steps. She's in good spirits and still mostly pain-free due to the wonderful epidural anesthesia. In the picture she is holding the button that dispenses pain-relieving meds - she's in charge and she likes that!

We are focused on going home - aiming for Monday. Hold the vision.

I read your comments to Joanne every day. Your thoughts, prayers, poems and eloquent posts are so supportive to both of us - we feel cradled by angel wings. Thank you.

Just Happenings: Spirit Walking and Spirit Talking

Those of you who know me know that I don't believe in luck, coincidence or fate. It's all about intention and attraction. So yesterday and today I had several encounters with spirit walking and talking which I KNOW weren't just serendipity. I had lunch in the hospital cafeteria yesterday with a friend and pastor of a UCC church in Magnolia who "just happened" to be at Virginia Mason to visit someone - we ran into each in the cafeteria. I had a brief encounter in an elevator with a friend I haven't seen in years who "just happened" to be at VM and who had a friend whose cancer was cured by Jeffrey Grice and who validated we had a great physician.

Today I went out for a walk, seeking a green patch of nature, and happened upon Seattle University. I was walking through the gate when I saw in the distance a friend, Jen Sandoval, running toward me with a healing hug. She "just happened" to look out the window in her dorm and see me coming onto campus and ran down the stairs to catch me in time. We walked and talked and I got a personal tour of campus.

I am writing this post from home tonight because I will be facilitating a retreat tomorrow morning in Bellingham that was scheduled way before our lives changed so dramatically. On
the drive north I was cruising radio stations to try and stay awake. I just happened upon the "Delilah Show" (sp?). I normally find her quite grating and avoid the station, but tonight I felt compelled to stop the scanner. I immediately heard a caller say that two years ago she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and given two months to live. She was calling in to request a song celebrating her great health and vitality now. Coincidence? I don't think so. Spirit walking and talking today. We are well.