This is a difficult entry to make. Joanne came back to her room about 8 pm tonight. The news from the surgeon was NOT what we wanted to hear. The cancer was widespread and he could not remove it all. The next step is chemo that will shrink the remaining cancer so it can be removed later. We have a lot of work to do is this healing process.
I felt cradled all day by the support of my "team" who waited a very long time in a very hot waiting area. We were both supported by the love and thoughts of all of you. Joanne is not in pain due to the wonderful technology of epidurals. She is resting comfortably. Please hold us both in your prayers. Oh yes, we did score a private room, but unfortunately they ran out of cots for family! So, it will be a long night in a chair - and fortunately, I'm exhausted.
Janet & Joanne
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Holding Vigil
Joanne walked herself to surgery at 2:20 pm. Yes, it's true. Joanne and five of us were sitting in the "Surgery Waiting Area", aka twilight zone, at Virginia Mason. It's very crowded with other waiters. They came for Joanne and I was not allowed to accompany her to the OR. I attempted to pull the "nurse card" and Jennifer Yocum, our pastor, pulled the "pastor card", all to no avail.
It was not how I fantasized saying good bye to my sweetie. It was the way it was. So, I'm surrounded right now by dear friends, Carol Peringer, Sharon Allen, Kathleen Carie and Jennifer Yocum. We presented Joanne with a half-finished prayer shawl and several other gifts from dear friends. Now we wait - it will probably be a 2.5 hr surgery. We wait, pray, and laugh together.
Stay tuned.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Count-down to Blessed Surgery
"...the powerful, ceaseless, thunderous waves of love and healing are in and it's high tide." Marla Morrow
Marla's statement provides me a wonderful visual image that is an anchor during the hard moments. Thank you, Marla.
We've had a rich few days. We laughed at the Mt. Baker's production of "Hairspray" (thank you, Bob and Karen for the tickets). We laughed even harder at the Cody River Show at the Idiom Theatre. Most of our precious time has been spent in our massive garden, frantically planting, weeding and watering, trying to catch up. We've called a halt to the war on horsetails - they can have their way with us and we surrender.
Tomorrow (Wednesday), Joanne begins her all-day "prep" for surgery, which is a major cleansing of her body so that the surgeon has a clean field in which to work his magic. I've reframed this purging as a purification process to allow more space for light and healing, and to discharge the cancer cells that have already surrendered their lives.
There is a Karen Drucker song that Joanne and I have been singing all week:
"Love fills every cell in my body,
Every cell is alive with love.
I relax into the healing process,
I allow spirit to do what it does."
It is an understatement to admit that relaxing is not my forte. Joanne, however, is a wonderful teacher in the art of relaxing and receiving. I do frantic strategizing, she does calm. We are both eager for the surgery so she will be more comfortable and we know with what we are dealing.
My next post will be from our private room (hold the vision!) at Virginia Mason on Thursday - the sacrament of surgery will be around 2:00 pm. Thank you for all your support.
When you post your comments, please sign your first and last name so we can visualize you
as we read them.
Marla's statement provides me a wonderful visual image that is an anchor during the hard moments. Thank you, Marla.
We've had a rich few days. We laughed at the Mt. Baker's production of "Hairspray" (thank you, Bob and Karen for the tickets). We laughed even harder at the Cody River Show at the Idiom Theatre. Most of our precious time has been spent in our massive garden, frantically planting, weeding and watering, trying to catch up. We've called a halt to the war on horsetails - they can have their way with us and we surrender.
Tomorrow (Wednesday), Joanne begins her all-day "prep" for surgery, which is a major cleansing of her body so that the surgeon has a clean field in which to work his magic. I've reframed this purging as a purification process to allow more space for light and healing, and to discharge the cancer cells that have already surrendered their lives.
There is a Karen Drucker song that Joanne and I have been singing all week:
"Love fills every cell in my body,
Every cell is alive with love.
I relax into the healing process,
I allow spirit to do what it does."
It is an understatement to admit that relaxing is not my forte. Joanne, however, is a wonderful teacher in the art of relaxing and receiving. I do frantic strategizing, she does calm. We are both eager for the surgery so she will be more comfortable and we know with what we are dealing.
My next post will be from our private room (hold the vision!) at Virginia Mason on Thursday - the sacrament of surgery will be around 2:00 pm. Thank you for all your support.
When you post your comments, please sign your first and last name so we can visualize you
as we read them.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The Roller Coaster Ride Begins - All Aboard
Joanne had not been feeling well for several months, so tests were ordered right after the amazing 60th birthday party for me that she planned and hosted. The "phone call" came
on a Friday (May 18th) of a five day residential workshop that I was facilitating in Skagit
County. The dreaded CA125 blood test was very high and the tentative diagnosis of ovarian
cancer was declared. Now getting this news in the middle of a workshop via phone is not ideal, but then again, I don't know what scenario would be. The good news was that I had twenty
participants to focus on. The bad news was lying in my lousy bed at night, alone, and encountering the dark night of the soul when my brain felt out of control with fear. It really sucks to be a nurse. . .
After many phone calls and the pulling of strings by physician friends, we scored an appointment with a GYN oncologist at Group Health Central on Wednesday, May 23rd. Unfortunately, I was scheduled to give a luncheon talk to 60 folks during her appointment. Again, separated by my work. . .So, Kathleen Carie, a very dear friend, agreed to meet Joanne in Seattle and take notes during the appointment. The physician is Dr. Jeffrey Grice and Joanne really likes him - hallelujah!! He scheduled surgery for May 31st at Virginia Mason
Hospital in Seattle. She will be there about 3 days, and then will probably start chemo
two weeks later.
So, Joanne basically has 5 1/2 days of feeling relatively energetic before the surgery. We decided we would use this time to have fun, laugh much (I need to make some changes to that Netflix que!), and focus on healing. We canceled a camping trip to Orcas Island because Joanne wants to sleep in a comfortable bed!
The healing process has already begun and we have attracted a great team. Thank you, Betsy and Jennifer, for your profound work. Thank you, Cathy, for a beautiful Spiritual Prayer Treatment for Healing which we carry around with us at all times. Thank you, Laura, for reminding me that I am not always right! Thank you, Carol, for researching easy blog sites - even I can do this one. Thank you to my mom and sister (many of you met them at my party and experienced their powerful energy) for your prayer treatments 24/7. Thank you Marie and Mary Ellen for staying with Joanne while I was leading the workshop. Thank you, Sharon, for choreographing the prayer shawl project. Thanks to all of you for sending so much love and light our way - we are so blessed.
Both Joanne and I believe that miracles are commonplace and we invite you to join us in that vision. We know that we are on a roller coaster ride, and we are hanging on to each other and our faith.
I will make another post close to May 31. Stay tuned.
on a Friday (May 18th) of a five day residential workshop that I was facilitating in Skagit
County. The dreaded CA125 blood test was very high and the tentative diagnosis of ovarian
cancer was declared. Now getting this news in the middle of a workshop via phone is not ideal, but then again, I don't know what scenario would be. The good news was that I had twenty
participants to focus on. The bad news was lying in my lousy bed at night, alone, and encountering the dark night of the soul when my brain felt out of control with fear. It really sucks to be a nurse. . .
After many phone calls and the pulling of strings by physician friends, we scored an appointment with a GYN oncologist at Group Health Central on Wednesday, May 23rd. Unfortunately, I was scheduled to give a luncheon talk to 60 folks during her appointment. Again, separated by my work. . .So, Kathleen Carie, a very dear friend, agreed to meet Joanne in Seattle and take notes during the appointment. The physician is Dr. Jeffrey Grice and Joanne really likes him - hallelujah!! He scheduled surgery for May 31st at Virginia Mason
Hospital in Seattle. She will be there about 3 days, and then will probably start chemo
two weeks later.
So, Joanne basically has 5 1/2 days of feeling relatively energetic before the surgery. We decided we would use this time to have fun, laugh much (I need to make some changes to that Netflix que!), and focus on healing. We canceled a camping trip to Orcas Island because Joanne wants to sleep in a comfortable bed!
The healing process has already begun and we have attracted a great team. Thank you, Betsy and Jennifer, for your profound work. Thank you, Cathy, for a beautiful Spiritual Prayer Treatment for Healing which we carry around with us at all times. Thank you, Laura, for reminding me that I am not always right! Thank you, Carol, for researching easy blog sites - even I can do this one. Thank you to my mom and sister (many of you met them at my party and experienced their powerful energy) for your prayer treatments 24/7. Thank you Marie and Mary Ellen for staying with Joanne while I was leading the workshop. Thank you, Sharon, for choreographing the prayer shawl project. Thanks to all of you for sending so much love and light our way - we are so blessed.
Both Joanne and I believe that miracles are commonplace and we invite you to join us in that vision. We know that we are on a roller coaster ride, and we are hanging on to each other and our faith.
I will make another post close to May 31. Stay tuned.
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