A Rant

On this blustery, windy day, I am going to use this blog post to be equally blustery - to rant, yell, pound my fists against the cosmic wall. . .

We went to Madrona today to start Joanne's IP chemo - finally. Fortunately, the nurses started with an infusion of salt water, just in case. Very quickly Joanne noticed the fluid bubbling out of her vagina, flowing out as fast as it was going in. A major problem. We nurses all agreed she had a major fistula (tunnel) between her peritoneal cavity and her vagina.

I called Jeffrey right away. He doubts that it can be repaired without another abdominal surgery. He'll know after he examines her. Joanne is going down to see him in Seattle tomorrow. Bless Sharon Allen, who will be driving her down, as I am giving workshops all day tomorrow, starting at 8 am.

So, unless a miracle occurs and it heals on its own very quickly (ok, I know I believe in miracles, but right now it's hard to see the miracles amongst the fear, anger and pain), Joanne will NOT be getting the much needed IP chemo and will probably face another major surgery.

I can't imagine her enduring another surgery. I don't WANT to imagine her enduring another surgery. I want her to get the life-saving IP chemo. It looks like that won't happen. I'm angry at myself for having a thought several weeks ago that she might have a fistula, based on her symptoms, but not pushing it. I'm angry at Jeffrey for writing off the symptoms as "normal".
But mostly, I'm afraid for her.

I have the first of possibly many requests as we get closer to MY major surgery. I won't be able to clean our house after November 27th, so we need a good housecleaner real soon. Anyone have any good referrals???